Wednesday, June 2, 2010
The world is divided into two kinds-no, not men and women. Night owls and morning people-or infidels. I get up and my only goal is achieving consciousness and some mornings it is an elusive goal. I make my way into the living room and if I'm lucky, Karen has either made or brought me coffee. If I am unlucky, Karen wants to discuss a life or death issue--a matter that can't possible wait until nighttime. I am suppose to contribute intelligently, but, when I open my mouth, only drool comes out. There are very few life or death problems that can be solved by drooling. Today, was a challenge in that I had to register my car(only five months late a kindly trooper informed me) and my car battery was waning. I went to the town office before work barely coherent and was fortunate the clerk could see me right away-God bless the civility of small towns. I handed over my paperwork and waited. The clerk had no idea I was a mere shell of a human being only able to remain seated because of tight fitting underwear. The next part you are not going to believe. I looked over at the wall and there was a sign listing what services the clerk provided. Halfway down the list was "Deer and Moose Lottery". How shameful!" I thought. "What a sorry state of affairs that we are trying to balance the state budget on the backs(antlers?) of deer and moose--and where does the State of Maine think that deer and moose can come up with the money to buy lottery tickets? And even if they could, any revenue would be offset by the terrible social problems created. How sad to be sitting at a gamblers anonymous meeting and here someone say, "My name is Bambi and I have a problem" Just then another clerk walked by reeking of morning coffee breath. I inhaled and quickly came to my senses. The lady who was waiting on me gave me back my new registration. I asked her if I had mentioned anything about deer and moose. She said no and I breathed a sigh of relief--and so my day begins.