Monday, July 19, 2010
I went to my second Food Addicts in Recovery meeting to night with my wonderful daughter Julia. I'll make it up to her if it takes the rest of my life. Some good-some bad. I wanted to kill the lady who was moderating. She spoke forty minutes and I thought about that book series and movie "Lemony Spicket and a series of unfortunate events. She told the story of her life five times--I zoned out when she fell into Mt. St. Helens and now must live a hairless life forever. I'm venting. The good--an enormous lady waddled up to tell her story. I'm ashamed to say I thought it was her first time. She had been in the program ninety days plus three weeks and had lost 77 lbs. She spoke of love. She talked about the feeling in the pit of her stomach in college when she realized she was in love, a love that is still strong after 25 years of marriage. She said she wants that same feeling about the rest of her life that she could only have if she could be freed from addiction. I told Julia it was what the lady didn't say that I was thinking of. She didn't want to lose her husband. I tried to explain to my daughter. I said what if someone put a bag over your head and took you out of my life and I never saw you again. I would be beyond anger-an anger I would never survive. But what if I was the one who put the bag over your head and put you out of my life because I ended my life prematurely because I lost the addiction battle. The result would be the same-an anger I would never survive. That is why it is so important to win this battle. Win your battle people.