Thursday, July 1, 2010


My first week of my new pared down work week. Gym and swimming with Karen yesterday--muscles sore, but in a mentally good way. I'm taking a break from final go over a story I'm sending to England. I find myself thinking of phony jobs I could tell people I do, and who among the dwindling friends that still believe anything I say, would actually believe me. Anyway, I have taken a job(delusional thinking alarm) writing those random non sequitor security codes like " cement frog" or "toe jam sandwich". Or, how about this. Last week our landlord had an electrician install carbon monoxide sensors-a new law now. Why not bull**** sensors. A salesman comes to the door selling swamp land in New Jersey. Immediately, an intermittent screeching sound followed by a loud warning "b*******t!" fills the house. There could be a phone version that would break in upon hearing the words "time share" or "subscription".
My late much loved Janet from Norwegian told this joke from her old country. Two friends get laid of from the factory and go the unemployment office to get a temporary check. Olaf goes in the office first while Eric stays in the car. Olaf meets the benefits manager to find out how much he will get from unemployment insurance. He comes back to the car all happy and tells Eric that he will be given 400.00 a week. "Wow" said Eric. "If you got that much and you are only my assistant, I'm going to get a lot more!" So Eric meets with the manager who asks him what he does for a living. Eric answered, "I run a sewing machine that sews ladies undergarments." The manager looked in his book and said, "As a sewing machine operator you will receive 200.00 a week." What! You gave my friend Olaf 400.00 a week."
"Olaf told me he was a diesel fitter--that's quite a responsible job in the official book" "Diesel Fitter", shouted Eric. I sew the woman's panties and Olaf puts them over his head and says "Diesel Fitter". Oh well--a nap and then back at it.

1 comment:

  1. When your muscles stop hurting you'll know you are dead. Better to get laid than laid off. Where can I get a B####s###t detector?