I'm home today playing hooky catching up on my high school buddy's blog. Carolyn O'Daly lives on Martha's Vinyard with her doctor husband. They made their money back in the day by injecting botox directly into the brain of fellow high school students. I was able to survive Mr. Hughes social studies class with a little help from the O'Dalys. I call them up from time to time if I can't get out of going to a cousin's wedding and need a refresher shot.
Of course, very little of this is true. Carolyn does live on the Vinyard and does whip her servants if he spaghetti is not aldente and she does write a delightful blog about island life called bunchograpes. She was writing about obituaries and how it required reading between the lines if you really wanted to get the facts. Like "Martha Smith, 105 years old, passed away peacefully in her sleep."-doesn't really tell you all that much, but at the end of the obit the family asks that contributions to a charity called "Find old people who get lost in the woods and die"
Anyway, her blog made me recall an old Maine joke. Ned and Mike were friends and loners who lived side-by-side forever. Their only shared activity was taking their row boat out on the river where they would fish in stony silence the entire day. One sad day Mike passed away which got Ned to thinking, "I'm his only friend and someone needs to post his obituary. So Ned walks into the local newspaper office and makes his way to the appropriate desk. He stood silent in front of the busy reporter until the man looked up. "Can I help you?"
"I need to post an announcement. My friend Mike passed away."
"Tell me what you want in the paper". The reporter said with pen in hand.
Ned scratched his chin and replied, "Mike died"
The reporter was stunned. "That is all you want to say? You know the minimum obit is five words and you get charged for five words whether you use them or not. 'Mike died' is only is only two words. Are you that is all you want to say/"
Ned, who came from a long tradition of Yankee thrift was caught between a terse rock and a penurious hard place. After being frozen in time for a minute he said, "O.K. Put in 'Car for sale'"